“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus

You can complain about long hours…

      …or you can choose to value your free-time more.

Your job might not be the perfect fit…

      …but it might make you appreciate the next one even more.

You can complain that your boss is arrogant, manipulative, and incompetent…

      …or you can take mental notes on how not to act for when you become a manager.

You can whine about annoying co-workers…

      …but you’d be better served to learn how to deal with all walks of people.

You can complain that you’re underpaid…

      …or you can learn to budget your money better and appreciate a less cluttered lifestyle.

You can get worn down by the grind…

      …or you can choose to feel self-satisfaction and a sense of pride for pressing on.

The bottom line is that you can choose to let yourself get discouraged, frustrated and beat down…

      …or you can react by finding the silver lining.

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“All my life, man and boy, I’ve operated under the assumption that the main idea in running was to win the race. Naturally, when I became a coach I tried to teach people how to do that. Tried to teach Pre (Steve Prefontaine) how to do that. Tried like hell to teach Pre to do that. And Pre taught me.

Taught me I was wrong. Pre, you see, was troubled by knowing that a mediocre effort can win a race and a magnificent effort can lose one. Winning a race wouldn’t necessarily demand that he give it everything he had from start to finish. He never ran any other way. I tried to get him to, God knows I tried… but… Pre was stubborn. He insisted on holding himself to a higher standard than victory. ‘A race is a work of art’; that’s what he said, that’s what he believed and he was out to make it one every step of the way. Of course he wanted to win. Those who saw him compete and those who competed against him were never in any doubt how much he wanted to win. But how he won mattered to him more. Pre thought I was a hard case. But he finally got it through my head that the real purpose of running isn’t to win a race. It’s to test to the limits of the human heart. That he did… Nobody did it more often. Nobody did it better.” — Bill Bowerman

Steve Prefontaine is my favorite athlete of all time. To me he’s more fascinating than Mike Tyson and more inspiring than Lance Armstrong. I gravitate to his legacy the way the masses at Heyward field were mesmerized by his charisma.

Why? Re-read the quote above.

Pause for a second and evaluate where you’re at in your life.

Is getting a new client worth telling a little fib? Is giving 85% effort to your client’s campaign so that you can finish a week ahead of schedule and start on someone else’s request advantageous to your bottom line? Do those shortcuts in the code help you get to market faster? Does manipulating drones into subconsciously consuming your content tickle your fancy?

Even though you’re shaking your head “no” right now the odds that you’ve done something to get ahead at the expense of your integrity in the last year are probably higher than you’d care to admit.

Answering yes to any of those questions above would likely result in more money, higher profit margins, more visitors, and a stronger business. Let’s face facts. Countless people get away with it everyday.

For every person telling harmless white lies, taking short cuts and manipulating their co-workers, clients, etc. for money, power, recognition, etc. there’s someone out there who realizes that in the scheme of things none of that matters. People who realize that getting to the top is great, but how you get there matters more.

We don’t need any more non-profit CEOs using donations to fund their 4000 sq ft flat in London. We need more people like Steve Prefontaine who lived in a trailer and ate pseudo-meat so he could maintain his amateur status to compete in the Olympics and fight the AAU despite fat endorsement offers from every running affiliated company under the sun.

When your boss takes vacation you can play on Facebook all day long, but if you play your politics right you might get promoted soon anyway. I fear this mindset is consuming our society, and is partially responsible for our current state of turmoil.

It may not happen to you specifically and it may not happen in your lifetime, but I assure you that if the foundation isn’t strong, if the appropriate processes weren’t carried out, the whole structure is going to come tumbling down.

You can win with mediocrity. You can get rich with smoke and mirrors, but like Pre, let’s hold ourselves to a higher standard that victory, than fancy watches and fast cars.

What say you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, but I’d love it even more if you’d share with me one person who you feel exemplifies the Steve Prefontaine approach. I’d love to highlight them here so that we can all learn from their examples.

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• It’s okay if you don’t read everything in your Google reader
• The world won’t end if you haven’t written a blog post in over a week
• The harder you work the luckier you get
• It’s okay to say no
• Visiting with your grandparents is a better use of time than participating in #u30pro #journchat #blogchat, etc.
• So is watching a movie with your little sister
• Be proactive about your career, dictate your own path
• Build your personal brand, but not based on what others want/think/expect
• Take a nap
• Drink a cold beer with good/old friends
• Call out nonsense
• Never sacrifice your integrity, especially for money
• Don’t take each other for granted
• Know the difference in management and leadership
• Backup your blog
• Redefine success
• Grad school and doctorate degrees are too expensive to “find yourself”
• Stop talking about yourself
• Skype with people that renew your vigor and get you excited
• Read books, fiction ones too
• Ignore all the rules
• Rock out to songs you liked 5, 10 years ago
• Set an example with your actions, not your words
• Say thank you
• Remember that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes

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What do Michael Jordan and Lewis Howes have in common?

They’re both over 6’0” [check]

They’re both athletes [check]

They’re both unafraid to take action. [Ding Ding Ding]

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Lewis admits he’s not the smartest person online (though he’s sharper than he gives himself credit for.) So why has he been successful in building a brand, maintaining a solid website with a host of talented writers, written a book, and hosted numerous paid seminars and webcasts attended by people all over the country?

It’s because he takes action. All the time. And he’s not the only one. Matt Cheuvront also comes to mind. Who else do you know that has been successful because they’re relentless in their pursuit of action?

I’m willing to suspect there are some projects Lewis has done that didn’t work out so well along the way. Guess what? Just like people don’t remember all the game winners Jordan lost, they won’t remember the times you’ve tried and failed — provided that you learn from your mistakes, and have a few successes along the way.

Depending on the list you’re looking at Jordan has made between 22 to 25 game winners in his career, less than he’s missed, albeit that’s a ridiculous success rate. Yours probably won’t be that good, and it doesn’t matter. It usually only takes a few successes to counter the failures.

I often spend way too much time calculating this and that, weighing every variable, and anxiously awaiting a sign from above that my idea is the right one or will be a success. You probably do to.

What if we just started hoisting game winners? We might miss a few at first, and we’d probably never make as many as Jordan, or Godin, or Kern, but I suspect that the more chances we take, the more deadly our aim will become.

Photo Credit: jpangan3

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Why Taking Action is Like Hoisting the Game Winner — http://bit.ly/1bHMrA

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I was reading a blog post last night, and I was falling asleep at my computer.

I read it again this morning. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that good either. At least not for me (and that’s an important determinant as well.)

The point is if I would’ve just marked it as read, I would’ve saved myself a couple of minutes. But because it was in my reader I felt obligated to read it.

How many crappy books have you kept reading because you started it? How many mediocre movies have you kept watching because you paid for it?

Isn’t life too short for that nonsense?

This past weekend visiting friends in Texas, I was running on very little sleep, had driven all over the state (it’s big), and stayed up with ease chatting with old friends well into the early morning.

Occasionally I sacrifice my sanity at the office because I was up until four reading a great book, riffing on baseball philosophy, or scribbling various business ideas into a notebook.

Next time you’re on the fence about something, ask yourself if there’s any chance you’d fall asleep during it if you hadn’t slept in 24 hours. If the answer is yes, maybe you ought to do something else with your time. If it’s a resounding no, consider yourself fortunate. Those are the moments that stay with you long after they’ve occurred.

Photo Credit: Nick Sayers

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A Handy Way to Measure Experiences — http://bit.ly/1MpPH

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I love to run. But the further I run the more blisters my feet get. They don’t make me incapable of running the next day, but they do make the process more uncomfortable. I can put a band-aid over a blister, but that’s just a short term fix. It’s a solution that becomes obsolete the first time you run through a puddle, get your foot wet, and it slides off (the band-aid, not your foot.)

Are you putting band-aids on all the problems in your life?

When you have a monumental fight with a friend do you change your phone number instead of talking through the problems? Do you purchase Hydroxycut instead of re-evaluating your caloric intake and amount of exercise? Are you guilty of going through the motions in an unsatisfying relationship because it’s easier than hurting someone’s feelings and admitting there’s someone else?

Is your company using band-aids to patchwork all its shortcomings?

Instead of flexible processes that empower employees to get their work done more efficiently, are you instructed to create template after template of techniques that become negligible the second the market shifts or something changes? The vast majority of templates are band-aids that take valuable time to create; time better spent developing a culture that speaks for itself.

Solutions?

The point is these solutions are not the kind you acquire from a book, an expensive seminar, a high priced consultant, or a fancy band-aid, even the ones Nelly wears.

You have to first turn the lens on yourself, examine the way you think about yourself and the problems you’re encountering. Try and solve the underlying problem by changing your stride, getting a better pair of shoes, or wearing thicker socks, because at some point you’re going to realize that no matter how many band-aids you use the symptoms will keep popping up elsewhere.

By then it might be too late!

Are you guilty of using band-aids to solve your problems? Are there examples of businesses/corporations/teams that haven’t figured out the problem isn’t on the surface? What techniques do you employ when you encounter nagging blisters in work? In relationship? In life?

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The Truth About Band-Aids — http://bit.ly/JlXFZ

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How much are you willing to sacrifice to attain your dream?

My great grandpa used to say that you could do anything you want if you put your mind to it. How many times have you heard that in your lifetime? The difference is he believed it. I recall coming up with ridiculous scenarios like, “Well what about flying without a rocket pack or another mechanism?” He would laugh and repeat himself, noting that while some things might take practicing 16 hours a day, sacrificing friends, family, etc. technically, it COULD be done.

Now that’s ludicrous for most of us to think about. And I still haven’t figured out how a human could fly by themselves, but the point is that we all have dreams we want to attain. Mine change often, but if you asked me today I’d say I wanted to teach a handful of marketing/sports marketing classes, coach a D1 baseball team to a national title, and have the flexibility (at least in the offseason) to spend time with a family, and friends who love me.

If you’re reading this, you probably work harder than most people you know. How many of your childhood friends are living their dreams? How many of your college peers are pursuing their passions? I suspect that number is a lot smaller than the number of people who found some middle ground where they were comfortable and settled. (And there’s nothing wrong with that. People change, dreams change.)

What about you? Are you going to put up a valiant fight and then resign to settling when the deck gets stacked against you?
How hard are you willing to work? How much are you willing to sacrifice?

Are you willing to break all the rules? Challenge every boundary? Ignore those that stand in your way? Test the limits of what you think you’re capable of? Steve Prefontaine was.

Are you willing to work tirelessly, waiting patiently on your turn? Will you be ready to capitalize on your chance when the moment finally comes? Jason McElwain was.

Are you willing to train countless hours to change the life of someone you love? To inspire others people all over the world? Rick Hoyt was.

Are you willing to teach yourself things others will never have to know? Are you willing to get creative to squash every limitation you’ve ever encountered? Clay Dyer was.

If you’re willing to do what it takes, good for you. You’re joining a very small percentage of people. If you aren’t, that’s okay too. It certainly isn’t for everyone.

I chose some of my favorites, but there’s plenty of other examples we can turn to when we’re trying to decide if it’s worth it, we need inspiration, we’re ready to settle. Who do you turn to? What keeps you pushing forward? Take a second and share in the comments. I might add a few more to the actual post for good measure.

Photo Credit: Taylor Dundee

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How Hard Are You Willing to Work — http://bit.ly/76tqO

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But what about the people who have the courage to be right (when all they want to do is be wrong), when their circumstances dictate that they play by the rules and color within the lines?

I think too often we glorify and glamorize the rule-breakers to the point that we ignore the people enduring the minutia of everyday life in a corporate cubicle. Yet sometimes, they are ‘heroes’ too.

Neither populace deserves to be (or should be) unhappy. For one, the answer might be Gary V’s advice to stop doing the shit you hate. For the others….

Watch the video.

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VIDEO: Stop Hating the Sh*t You Do — http://bit.ly/IoycQ

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Admittedly I’m a little timid to try something different, especially since I’ve been getting good responses, and just wrote this post. But not only do I have something to say, but also something to share. Let’s start with a quick story.

For the vast majority of my life I’ve lived at the extremes, which is to say I’m a very intense person. When things were good they were great, and when they weren’t… you probably wanted to avoid me like the plague. I’m was the guy who could inspire you, empower you and push you to new heights. I was also the guy who could derail the train if we collided with the right mix of adverse conditions.

To illustrate a couple of trees in the front yard at my parents house have lifelong scars because I tried to chop them down with a baseball bat on nights I had bad games.

Fortunately, the latter came few and far between, but nonetheless it’s something I’ve worried about when I think of myself as a potential leader of a team, of a community, of a business.

As I’ve grown older, maturity seems to be a valuable prescription in fighting these negative symptoms, but being insatiably curious (like many of you) I still sought a tool to help provide more balance in my life. I needed balance to help facilitate the type of relationships, both business and personal, that I wanted to facilitate in my life.

Enter Stoicism.

I got turned on to stoicism by Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferris when I found myself fascinated with Ryan’s “Stoicism 101: A Practical Guide for Entrepreneurs.”

Stoicism differs from most existing schools in one important sense: its purpose is practical application. It is not an intellectual enterprise. It’s a tool that we can use to become better entrepreneurs, better friends and better people.

Stoic writing isn’t about beating up on yourself or pointing out the negative. It’s a meditative technique that transforms negative emotions into a sense of calm and perspective.

And that was the start of my journey down the rabbit hole.

It hasn’t been an overnight success, and I have barely skimmed the surface of all the things I want to read, but I can attest to the fact that I’m already seeing a positive difference. I am being less vocal about things that irritate me, I’m remaining more calm in situations that would usually entail a long walk to avoid saying something I couldn’t take back, and I even navigated a recent situation enabling me to retain a friend (albeit under different circumstances) that in the past I would’ve turned my back on.

I’m proud of these small steps, and I feel confident that stoicism will enable me to grow and cultivate the kinds of relationships that will lead to success. So in the spirit of that growth, I’d like to share some of my favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditationswith all of you with the hope that even just one is something that resonates with you and makes your life a little bit better:

“Every hour of the day give vigorous attention to the performance of the task in hand with precise analysis, with unaffected dignity, with human sympathy, with dispassionate justice – and to vacating your mind from all its other thoughts.”

“When it is open to you, at any time you want, to retreat into yourself. No retreat offers someone more quiet and relaxation than that into his own mind.”

“‘It is my bad luck that this has happened to me.’ No, you should rather say: ‘It is my good luck that, although this has happened to me, I can bear it without pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearful of the future.’”

“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.”

“If someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: the harm is to persist in one’s own self-deception and ignorance.”

“It is the gentle who have strength, sinew, and courage – not the indignant and complaining. The closer to control of emotion, the closer to power. Anger is as much a sign of weakness as is pain.”

“Say to yourself first thing in the morning: today I shall meet people who are meddling, ungrateful, aggressive, treacherous, malicious, unsocial.”

“Imagine you were now dead, or had not lived before his moment. Now view the rest of your life as a bonus, and live it as nature directs.”

What techniques, school’s of thought, strategies do you employ to help cultivate relationships? Do you have an intense, potentially abrasive personality? What do you do to contain it? Most importantly, what did you think of the quotes? Could you apply them to your own life to help you progress and become a better person? Friend? Businesswoman?

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How Stoicism Helps Cultivate Relationships — http://bit.ly/KR7SL

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I’ve been excited about this particular post for awhile now, since the day I wrote it to be precise. This month’s Top 10 Gen Y Blog, Matt Cheuvront’s “Life Without Pants” is hosting a tremendous series on the Inconvenience of Change.

When I saw this series it definitely piqued my interest, but it wasn’t until I started reading all of the brilliant posts from so many Gen Y contributors that I knew I had to get involved. The above is an excerpt from my post on the inconvenience of change, which takes a look at change from a business/marketing perspective.

I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Venture over to Matt’s Blog and join the discussion.