Comments on: Do Your Friends Determine How Successful You Are?

By: Ryan Stephens Marketing » How Do You Measure Success?

Ryan Stephens Marketing » How Do You Measure Success? — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 12:14:31 +0000

[...] about the success of others? Stop for a second and think about who your friends are. Do they determine how successful you are? Have you neglected your childhood friends for your new country club friends? If he/she isn’t [...]

By: Ryan Stephens Marketing » Top 10 Gen Y Blogs: August 2009

Ryan Stephens Marketing » Top 10 Gen Y Blogs: August 2009 — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:26:21 +0000

[...] I always feared the day my blog might potentially make this list b/c I don’t want to undermine the credibility of the list, or talk about myself. I’ll say this… for those of you who voted for me, I’m genuinely flattered – and I’m not going to downplay it for once because I feel like my content, particularly in June was should’ve had me in the mix. That’s honest, and so was this post. [...]

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:31:06 +0000

@Marie – Really good insights into the “balance” of friends. A lot of my friends are like me, work hard, but once they clock out (particularly on weekends) it’s on. I think you’re right though – we do need to surround ourselves with different people to acquire all the types of interaction we’re looking for…

I couldn’t agree more with your second point of emphasis. When I see someone like Charlie working on Ramit’s book launch and Tucker Max’s movie, or Matt pulling off the whole Inconvenience of Change series that makes me want to step up my game as well.

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:30:54 +0000

@Sam – You’ve given me some great things to internalize. I think most of my friends have a lot of shared interests (e.g sports, cold beer, good music, etc.), but in terms of new friends – maybe ambition is part of the equation.

I think you’re advice moving forward is great. I guess a lot of these comments boil down to our definitions of ambition. Like I said on Brazen, ambition can boil down to making just enough money and get off work at 5 to ensure you can spend tons of time with your family. That’s great. Ambition doesn’t necessarily = wanting to run a fortune 500 company. That said, there’s a big difference between that and someone who’s apathetic, 25 and lives at home on their parents couch because they can.

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:30:37 +0000

@Sarah – Thanks for your insights and contribution to the discussion. We’re a strong little community of young professionals. There’s communities like Brazen Careerist and 20Something Bloggers, etc. where you can meet like-minded people who you can certainly motivate (and be motivated by you) – and there may be some new outlets coming soon…

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:30:21 +0000

@Angelique – Great addition to the discussion and certainly something to be mindful of. I couldn’t agree more, so much so that I could very well see myself being one of those people (one day, perhaps.)

I think the key to what you’re getting at though is that they’re still ambitious. They’re striving for fulfillment (just in a different way than the people running the rat race.) Lifestyle management, wealthy or not, is certainly an intriguing concept.

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:29:43 +0000

@Carla – You’re 100% right that mentality can rub off on you. Personally, I don’t mind having a few around, if not to remind myself what I aspire to accomplish, but I think the majority of your friends have to be people that won’t let you settle. They have to push you along during periods where you don’t have the strength and energy to push yourself.

I love that you say, “When ‘fine’ is the goal, something is wrong.” I also agree 100% that we don’t have to necessarily “throw out” old friends. That’s not what this post is about. Thanks for your insights Carla!

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:29:27 +0000

@Matt – Glad I could inspire a rant, and your rants are always welcome here. My childhood friends will always be my boys. I’m psyched they’re all doing something with their lives, but in the past when someone has struggled we’ve all been there to pull each other up by the bootstraps. My best friends could be the biggest losers ever and I’d love them just the same, but you can bet any “new” friends are people I have a certain amount of immediate respect for — people that aspire to something.

I think support is important, and I’ve been thinking a lot about ways we all can leverage and support one another in this online space. I might have a few things up my sleeves over the coming months.

By: admin

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:29:11 +0000

@Charlie – Thanks a lot. You know I value your opinion when it comes to my writing and the thoughts I’m projecting. I know that like me, you’re a proponent of work hard, play hard, but having watched who you’ve surrounded yourself with, clearly it’s helping you continue working up your own ‘ladder.’ (How’s that for a run-on sentence?)

By: Greg

Greg — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:43:05 +0000

Nice post Ryan. I agree with the general idea of the post too. I personally have a few friends that have not done anything with their lives and are in their late 20s still just coasting along. We continue to be friends but slowly I have pushed them to the back burner…not necessarily because they were holding me back but because they just aren’t where I am in life.

As for the hard work thing I think this quote goes a long way. It was told to me from a former boss who heard it from a friend.

“I plan on learning as much as I can from 20-30, working as much and as hard as I can from 30-50, and then retiring and relaxing.”

That is pretty much what I am doing. I have worked a few different jobs and have a very diverse range of experience and am making connections that will take me above and beyond where I am now.