Ryan Stephens Marketing

Endure

1
December

If I had to choose one word to describe my 2010 it would be endure. There’s really no way to not sound like a self absorbed, self congratulating asshole… but despite my ultimately privileged life, everyday of 2010 until late August was a struggle to find the silver lining.

There were days when I was doing work I didn’t believe in, working for people I didn’t trust with motivations I couldn’t understand.

Everyday I rationalized that this is what you do when you’re young and just starting out in the work force.

Endure, I would tell myself, be thankful you even have a job.

For awhile I got really good at highlighting the positive things, but eventually the misery took over. It consumed me to the point that I couldn’t enjoy side projects, long runs, or hanging out with friends.

I left. Without anything lined up.

Endure, who cares what other people think?

I interviewed for two awesome jobs with companies making really big waves in spaces I’m passionate about. I wasn’t the right fit. And after making it so far and being so emotionally invested in the last one I lost it. I cried. I got in the truck, and I drove home to spend time with my family.

Endure, it wasn’t meant to be.

I took a job with a well-known company working 70 hour weeks & weekends, for less than I deserved, doing things that didn’t remotely resemble the job description I applied for:

Hauling Cokes & Ice Out of Sam's by Myself

But that’s okay because we all need to pay our dues. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty, and surely I’d learn a lot. But I didn’t.

This time I completely disconnected. It’s just a job. It’s just a paycheck. I worked while my friends went out on Friday nights and to the pool on Saturdays. I sat at home on Tuesday’s while they worked.

Endure, I’ll appreciate the next job more.

Sitting at a table in a bar with Caitlin McCabe, Ryan Paugh, Rebecca Thorman and David Geisberg at #SXSW 2010 I said, “I want to work in health care. I see a huge opportunity for social technologies to bridge the gap between doctors and patients, to connect patients to one another, etc.”

And so I networked. And I applied. And I interviewed on my days off. And I interviewed early in the mornings before going into work. And I tried my best not to bitch, moan or complain to co-workers.

Finally, a lot of hard work and preparation collided with a good dose of luck, and I was fortunate enough to land what has been a perfect fit. The conversation at #SXSW became a reality. I don’t have to posture anymore. I just tell the truth:

“I love my job. It’s the perfect fit for me in my life right now. ”

But I truly had to endure to get there. And I certainly didn’t have as much time for blogging. 93 posts in 2009, only 53 in 2010 so far.

So what does 2011 have in store?

I think my word for 2011 is going to be grind. I used to pride myself on working harder than most people. And I worked hard in 2010, but I was selfish. It was about me.

When I wasn’t riding the ‘feel sorry for myself, fight like hell to get what I want’ roller-coaster I was relishing any time I got to spend being back in Texas and spending time with friends.

But now that things have started falling into place I refuse to let myself be content. I’ll still see my friends on Friday and Saturday nights, but week nights I’m ready to put my head down, get in the trenches, and grind.

I have some projects I want to launch, plenty of writing to do, and tons of you I want to talk to and connect with. Seriously, send me an e-mail or a tweet. Let’s chat soon!

In participation with #reverb10.

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Posted on by Ryan Stephens

15 Comments

Category: Uncategorized

  • http://genpink.com elysa

    I had a year of endure. 2007. and oh how I appreciated the blanket clean sweep that came in 2008 from enduring in every category of my life in 2007. It’s awesome being in a job that fits right now. I have that too and I’d tell all the skeptics it does exist and it’s not worth enduring in a job that isn’t made for you.
    .-= elysa´s last blog ..10 Ways to be an Awesome Alma Mater Alum =-.

    [Reply]

    Ryan Stephens Reply:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 10:41 am

    @Elysa – I kind of liken it to running a long distance race. It hurts like hell when you’re going through it, but once you finish the feeling of self satisfaction and relief is a true high. You’re that much better for it. And I’ve been on that high since late August. I definitely relate to that sense of relief though.

    I still contend that our generation is too entitled, and that for most people straight out of college there needs to be some sort of “this is the real world” reality check, but I ALSO believe that through hard work and persistence you can find a good fit on your terms doing work you’re passionate about.

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  • http://www.ryanjknapp.com/blog Ryan Knapp

    Good stuff Ryan – these #reverb10 posts are going to get a lot out of us. Grind is a good one, just make sure you don’t grind yourself out (as we are both guilty of doing). As you said on my post, we’ll make sure to come up for air once in a while and keep each other in check for sure.

    You definitely endured through working the other job, but you know what? you got the job you want now, and you are kicking some ass. That’s endurance.

    [Reply]

    Ryan Stephens Reply:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Without question I don’t regret anything about the path that led me to where I’m at now. Without those other jobs, and the challenges I encountered, I wouldn’t have learned what I really wanted to do. There’s also a strong likelihood that I would’ve ‘settled’ into a comfort zone instead of clawing like hell to find a better fit. And because of those gigs, I appreciate the one I have so much more. I’m infinitely more thankful.

    As for the grind – if we love what we’re doing I suspect it’ll be tough to grind ourselves out.

    [Reply]

  • Lindsey Bray

    I’m going to echo what you said on my #reverb10 post. It would have been so easy for you to simply throw the towel in and quit. But you didn’t. Like you said, there were some days where you withdrew, but overall you met the situation head on and in the end got what you want. That’s very admirable and something a lot of people could learn from!

    [Reply]

    Ryan Stephens Reply:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Thanks for the kind words Lindsey. To be candid, there was never a moment where I thought of “quitting.” Anything bad or frustrating that happened was just more incentive to find something else. I’m anxious to see where your path takes you after your final semester!

    [Reply]

  • http://www.barbaraling.com Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach

    Very very powerful post indeed – lots of empathy for the hard path you were/are on. I hope 2011 delivers to you the satisfaction you really deserve!
    .-= Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..Preparing Big Huge Holiday Profits – Day 1 of Day 25 =-.

    [Reply]

    Ryan Stephens Reply:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 11:44 am

    Thanks Barbara! And thanks for taking the time away from making money hand over fist to comment here. I look forward to learning more from you in 2011 as I’ll likely look to monetize a few of my efforts.

    [Reply]

  • http://samdavidson.net Sam Davidson

    Great word! I said mine was “busy” but I like yours better. I think endurance has a purpose; busy sometimes doesn’t. My year was busy, but with a purpose. Anyway, congrats on finding the perfect fit for you, and best of luck in 2011.

    [Reply]

    Ryan Stephens Reply:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I hadn’t thought about it that way Sam, but I really like the distinction you made re: enduring having a purpose. I know you’ve been busy in 2010, and I’m looking forward to your book! Also enjoy keeping up with what you guys are up to over at Proof.

    [Reply]

  • http://www.proofbranding.com/ Matt Cheuvront

    Enduring is part of the process, right? Even though all of us bloggers don’t know each other that well personally, I feel like we’ve really gotten to know each other through our writing – and there’s clearly been a lot of enduring going on – thinking that we have to pay our dues and then maybe realizing that we don’t – that we can control our own destiny and make things happen for ourselves. That we don’t have to wait until tomorrow, and instead can focus on today.

    But, on the contrary, enduring isn’t such a bad thing – not at all, actually. Being able to endure when things aren’t perfect with your head up is admirable – and it’s something you’ve obviously been able to do. Cheers to what you’ve accomplished in 2010 and all that’s ahead in 2011.
    .-= Matt Cheuvront´s last blog ..Why Free Works =-.

    [Reply]

  • http://modite.com Rebecca

    I love that I was unknowingly part of your journey. It’s really inspiring that you found your path after risking it all. Much respect to you, and I’m really excited to see how you magnify your success in 2011.
    .-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Just One Word =-.

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  • http://www.ryanpaugh.com Ryan Paugh

    I’m happy for you, man! To echo Rebecca, I’m happy to have been unknowingly part of your journey towards a better life. “Grind” seems like a great word for 2011, but don’t undervalue those days when you just need to be a selfish bastard :) Those self-reflection days remind me who I am beyond work. Best of luck in 2011 buddy!
    .-= Ryan Paugh´s last blog ..Things to unlearn about social media =-.

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  • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

    “I love my job. It’s the perfect fit for me in my life right now.”

    This is my favorite part of your 2010. It shows how happy you are with a captured moment in time. And that you are living for now, for those moments. Not clinging to the past or forging blindly towards the future.

    But appreciating where you are and what you have. That’s something I long for in 2011. To stop and be able to look at where I am in a split second and say “This is pretty awesome.”

    And I like that you acknowledge that things could change. Life happens to the best of us. But searching out and finding those moments that make us happy where we are…priceless.

    For everything else, I’m sure someone has a $65 eBook. :P
    .-= Elisa´s last blog ..Writing On The Webb =-.

    [Reply]

  • http://www.enteradulthood.com Diana Antholis

    Ryan, you definitely have a lot of patience. I think that is the thing that separates you from others when it comes to your year of “endure.” You really thought hard about what you wanted and made it happen – but it wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. Many of us want things instantly – as that is what we have become accustomed to. You didn’t give up and it worked. It makes me happy to read about how happy you are. And you have yourself to thank for that!
    Thanks for your post,
    Diana

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