A Handy Way to Measure Experiences
When you’re completely exhausted, what is capable of keeping you awake?
I was reading a blog post last night, and I was falling asleep at my computer.
I read it again this morning. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that good either. At least not for me (and that’s an important determinant as well.)
The point is if I would’ve just marked it as read, I would’ve saved myself a couple of minutes. But because it was in my reader I felt obligated to read it.
How many crappy books have you kept reading because you started it? How many mediocre movies have you kept watching because you paid for it?
Isn’t life too short for that nonsense?
This past weekend visiting friends in Texas, I was running on very little sleep, had driven all over the state (it’s big), and stayed up with ease chatting with old friends well into the early morning.
Occasionally I sacrifice my sanity at the office because I was up until four reading a great book, riffing on baseball philosophy, or scribbling various business ideas into a notebook.
Next time you’re on the fence about something, ask yourself if there’s any chance you’d fall asleep during it if you hadn’t slept in 24 hours. If the answer is yes, maybe you ought to do something else with your time. If it’s a resounding no, consider yourself fortunate. Those are the moments that stay with you long after they’ve occurred.
Photo Credit: Nick Sayers
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Wonderful. I like the way you put it more than Ben Casnocha’s when he said we are completionists.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, about how hard is for us to say no to things even once we started doing them, even if they suck.
Let me take it a step further: you talk about books, movies and posts. What about jobs, degrees or relationships? It happens there as well, and those things may take a lot more than just one night of good sleep…
.-= Carlos Miceli´s last blog ..All You Really Need =-.
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admin Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Glad you enjoyed the post Carlos. Was it because I respected your time and kept it pithy?
You’re spot on taking it to the next level. I’ve been fortunate that I really enjoyed my educational experience, but I think that’d be a REALLY hard one to walk away from because of what they cost.
As far as relationships. I’m guilty. Most of us probably are. I think just like books you hear good things about… you keep hoping it’ll get better or something will happen that will transform it into the passionate experience you had when you started. From experience, it usually doesn’t work that way.
I’ll say this completely unrelated to the post, but I’ve found multiple times that relationships don’t mean shit on paper. It doesn’t matter how smart, successful, tall, fit, etc. anyone is – what matters is if you have fun when you’re with that person. The rest of that kind of sorts itself out.
Thanks for commenting! Enjoyed your guest post on Jackie’s blog!
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Ryan,
This is a great post that leaves you with a lot to think about — namely, what I got out of it, anyway, is how do you spend your time and will it be important in the end? I agree that the moments that matter are the ones that stay with you, and that can be said for anything: people you meet, job experiences you have, good blog posts, good books, a quote or a trip or an evening staying up late with friends. These are the things that are worth remembering, the experiences worth having.
Though, sometimes, you have to sift through the crap to realize what’s worth it. And, honestly, even if it’s something remarkable, if I hadn’t slept for 24 hours, there’s a really good chance I’d fall asleep anyway…Wanting to stay awake — now that’s something else
Great post.
.-= Susan Pogorzelski´s last blog ..From Blogger to Brazen: Following The Threads =-.
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admin Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 8:52 am
There’s definitely some sorting to be had. Until you go on the date and spend some time with that person you don’t know if your time was “worth it” or not. I think the point is though that if it was a bad date, chances are you probably shouldn’t go on another with the expectations that the dynamic will switch.
Cut the losses. Go on a different date with someone else.
Once I hadn’t slept for 48 hours and I fell asleep in a meeting with OfficeMax executives. Maybe their briefing should’ve been more enticing, but 48 hours is a LONG time without sleep…
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You’re right. It’s simple. Don’t waste your time doing things that you could fall asleep while doing? However, I kind of think it’s our culture that drives us to “finish what you started.” ALWAYS in the back of my mind, I think about that if I’m on a run and need to get to mile marker X, or a book that I started that I know I should read to the end even though I don’t like it.
I think finishing what you started is admirable. I also think stopping, cutting your loses, beginning a new avenue is also admirable. Hmm..which to do?
.-= Grace Boyle´s last blog ..How Did You Begin Blogging? =-.
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admin Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Well RUNNING is a completely different topic for me. I think it’s important to set how far you’re going to go (or how long) and to achieve that distance/time. Pushing through that (at least for me) is different than a book or something else. That’s training my mind and body it can endure, persevere, etc. Like Will Smith says when you learn how to defeat that little person in your head when you’re running you’ll learn how to not quit in life. I subscribe to that.
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The problem for me is that I have had to turn into the best “filter” possible. I simply do not have enough time in the day, night, or early morning/late evening hours to do everything that I want, need, or desire to do!
So I get exhausted just “skimming” through everything to try and find what is really valuable to me! It would be nice if for everything I was presented with, a little fly-out bubble appeared that would say: “this is interesting”, “you gotta do this”, “this is crap”, “Jackpot!” That would make life easier trying to find what I should spend my time on to make sure I’m not wasting it on junk!
.-= Brian Hamlett´s last blog ..Survey Says: Twitter is a Waste of Time =-.
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admin Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
I think you’re describing a problem that most ambitious professionals encounter virtually everyday. I guess my question to you in response is.. “Is a filter just a band-aid? Is the real solution finding a few must-reads, and then taking action ourselves instead of reading everything?”
I’m a voracious reader, and I’m subscribed to a TON of blogs so I don’t necessarily know the answer. Opinions?
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So should we all adhere to the idea WWRVWD (What Would Rip Van Winkle Do?) Haha, I slay myself sometimes.
In all seriousness, though, that’s actually a really good idea. It’s kinda like the excuse of “I’d love to but I have to wash my hair tonight.” I’d love to finish this, but I COULD instead go to sleep. Once you get to the point that you would like to go to sleep instead of finishing what you have started, well, then I’d say the endeavor is just a lost cause.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..#BrazenBlogCrush Contest!!! =-.
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admin Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:23 am
I once had a first date (we knew each other prior, albeit not well) where I invited her back to watch a movie after dinner. I think I told her she’d have to stay on the opposite couch. Anyway, she said she had to go check on her roommate because their suite-mates were weird. (I’m not dumb.) I think she should’ve gone with the hair wash approach.
I think the point of this story is maybe sometimes we don’t know without first trying it. It ended up being the most fulfilling relationship of my life. She’s still a great friend. BUT her intuition was right (for her) for that night.
Last night sleep won out over responding to these comments… but like Anita says below. Sometimes it’s important to re-visit later.
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I’m with Grace – our culture (and my mom) always taught me to finish what I started, which is a really tough habit to shake!
Works great for athletics (especially running) but I have the hardest time with this when it comes to books. No matter how bad, I feel compelled to finish every book. You make a great point, which is that life is too short to be tied down by obligations (big or small) that really don’t help further our goals or our happiness in any way. Of course, caveats aside for things like supporting a family (but I reckon that still ultimately ties back to happiness).
P.S. Love that Will Smith video too
.-= Jenny Blake´s last blog ..Dating: Do you go for Quality or Quantity? =-.
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admin Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Books tend to still be the main instance when I don’t adhere to this approach so I completely understand. This is especially true if 15 people tell me how great something is, but it doesn’t resonate for me. I keep reading hoping it will become great.
I read somewhere that you should take 100, subtract your age, and read that many pages to give the book a chance. After that, still bad, put it down.
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Great post! I’ll have to share it with my friends.
I too find myself doing things because I started them, even if those things have no added value to myself or others. Sometimes it’s better to “quit” things we’ve started and take a step back to analyze what we’re doing with our time and ask ourselves if it’s helping anything.
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admin Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I think that serves as a pretty good summary of the post Mary. Thanks for your contribution and for stopping by RSM. I look forward to your insights in the future.
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Hi Ryan,
Knowing when to get out of an experience when we’re not learning/ enjoying it, is [un]common sense.
Equally important to recognise those rare instances when we have access to [people/ book/volunteering] experiences from which we could learn enormously, but are unable to at the instant they present themselves [sleep/work/kids].
Sometimes its good to go back when you can, with complete attention and splash into the incoming tide.
Cheers
Anita Lobo
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admin Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:39 am
I LOVE everyone’s comments and I appreciate how intelligent and insightful my readers are, but admittedly Anita you’ve been on a roll lately. You always provide me with a little more depth and a different way to look at things.
You bring up another great point, one I don’t necessarily think about because at my age, single, etc. I have a lot of freedom, but with a family some times other things take precedence, and YES, sometimes that does mean going back to revisit something later.
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Ryan – long time no see – I’m finally getting jacked back into my Google Reader – apologies for the abscene. You raise a very interesting point here that I’m not even sure how to comment on but felt compelled to at least say “Hmm” – I find myself siding with the majority here in that I have that ‘finish what I’ve started’ mentality – but I think I’m beginning to come around.
Good example – I started writing this epic ’100 Thing We’ve Learned at Life Without Pants’ article in celebration of the 100th post. Somewhere around number 27 I stopped and asked myself, “Why am I doing this?” – “Who would read this?” – “What’s the point?”
I couldn’t come up with anything so I hit delete, accepted that I had wasted two hours of my life, but that I would be better off by not wasting two more.
It’s important for us to prioritize and focus on the things that are most important to us. Thank you for inspiring some good thought Ryan.
.-= Matt Cheuvront´s last blog ..The Social Media Revolution Isn’t Coming – It’s Already Here =-.
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admin Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:48 am
It has been awhile, and though I’ve read all of LWP articles, I haven’t commented lately – I apologize.
A “Hmm” is enough for me. I’m satisfied anytime I can get my readers to take a second and stop and think about the way we act, and why we do what we do I feel like I’ve done my job.
The thing about prioritization is that there’s still a struggle because we want to help others, those in our community, but also achieve our own endeavors. I know I often take on more than I can handle and my own work often suffers b/c I’m working too much on fulfilling promises for other people. It’s a tough tight rope to negotiate.
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